Everyone in the United States is aware of the battle that raged during the elections over Proposition 8 in California. It was a much debated, much reported, and much anticipated vote.
When the votes were counted, the California Constitution was amended to affirm that marriage would only be recognized between a man and a woman... by only 4%.
Did people on both sides conduct themselves perfectly during the democratic process? No. Are there instances documented where things got out of line? Yes. One would think that the majority decision would subdue the passion of both sides, that the losing side would concede and eagerly begin plans to overturn the decision in the next election...
As many of you know, I have bought my way into our family business that my father built over the last 29 years. Our reputation is our most cherished asset, and we protect it carefully.
During the recent campaign, my father made a private donation of $1000 to the "Yes on 8" effort. Though we have very strong beliefs as business owners, we respect the right for others to express their opinions and through our business we cater to individuals of every race, religion, economic status, and lifestyle. We provide the same specified level of service regardless of those very same descriptors, and always have.
Since the election, we have received several abrupt anonymous phone calls deriding my father for his contribution; The business has been listed on anti-gay websites, and anonymous mail has arrived criticizing our company for its stance on this issue. In every case, the people calling made no effort to speak with the owners, and would not leave a name or a phone number for a return call. The letters likewise avoided accountability through anonymity.
While many who are of the same opinion as these commentators may applaud their efforts to 'make a difference' by trying to forward their agenda, as a human being I can only marvel at the disrespect, cowardice and intolerance that is being demonstrated by such communications - as well as the negative impact incurred.
Let me delve deeper into the reasons why I presume make such harsh accusations.
First and foremost, this country is founded on principles that allow people to maintain their own perspective and opinion. Anything other than a reasonable discussion about opinion is futile, in most instances resulting in an agreement to disagree. Fundamental differences in belief or opinion by nature cannot be instantly resolved to the satisfaction of both parties, especially where such profound ramifications are in the balance.
Recognizing that there are differences that can never be mended, anonymously disparaging the opposing opinion can only be considered the epitome of cowardice and disrespect. Furthermore to demand tolerance with one hand while writing criticism of opinion with the other is the worst type of hypocrisy.
Perhaps the greatest irony of all in this situation is the propensity for friendly fire. While boycotting businesses using as criteria the opinion of its owners might seem just, it is tactically the most damaging behavior possible (short of vandalism and violence). Each business employs people of diverse belief systems and backgrounds. How well do you presume to know the employees of any company? Out of the more than dozen direct employees and the 20 other licensed contractors that we use to install our flooring how many voted either side of this issue? I cannot speak for other companies, but our employees are sickened by the commentary that is flowing into our business regardless of their stance on these issues. One person has communicated to me that they felt ashamed to be associated with these people by virtue of their no on 8 vote.
As their employer, I can assure you that I do not know how many of my employees voted against me on prop 8, nor would I ask or even intimate that it is any of my business. We all have different reasons for voting the way we do - and our vote might be for very different reasons than the most obvious.
I respect your right to boycott my business. I respect your right to have an opinion that is not congruent with my beliefs. However, I refuse to respect the cowardice the urges people to behave in a manner unbecoming a citizen of our country. Do not think to join the ranks of the great dissidents who have gone before us if you can but protest the rights of others to have an opinion, a cause, or a belief.
I find it fascinating when people let down their guard and communicate what is in their hearts. As a people watcher, the moments when people open up and show their true colors reminds me of finding a perfect sand dollar on the beach as a child - for a moment time stands still and I can only marvel at the depth and complexity of the moment as it rests in my hands.
But as I examine the true colors of what lies before me today; I can see that while some considered this issue to be about rights, families, tolerance, and equality - It has been reduced to violence, selfishness, disrespect, and yes even discrimination towards anyone that will not lie down and agree.
True colors have never been such a disappointment.
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